He's Not a Princess, That's for Sure
by acuity
Summary: Your name is Dirk Strider and you're a bit confused.


Your name is Dirk Strider and you're a bit confused.

You're currently at the highest point of the royal castle of the lustrous Prospit Kingdom. Well, it used to be lustrous. It hasn't been for the last hundred years due to a curse set by the villainous fairy, Peixes. Legend has it that she had a falling out with the royal family when they didn't invite her to the celebration of their child's birth. Furious at the lack of acknowledgment, she placed a curse on the poor princess dictating that she would die if she ever consumed a rare magical fruit, and with her death would come misfortune for the kingdom. Luckily, some other fairies in attendance managed to change the curse so it would only make her fall asleep until true love's kiss.

True to Peixes' word, however, the princess did consume the magical fruit and she fell into a deep sleep. Years passed and even though many tried to kiss her awake, all hope of the princess waking up vanished. Eventually, Prospit began to suffer economically. Poverty stricken, most residents left to other kingdoms to start anew. Those that remained, including the royal family, perished with time.

But the princess remained asleep, and that's where you came in. You, Dirk Strider, royal prince of Derse are here to wake the princess from her deep sleep. After climbing mountains and evading forests of thicket, you've finally reached your destination.

But there's one little problem.

It seems like the princess isn't a princess, but a prince. A very handsome prince at that; with dark hair, tan skin, and slightly protruding buck teeth. Damn, it didn't even look like he had been asleep for a hundred years. You can't say you're disappointed though. You were expecting a princess, but you got something even better.

Well, it's now or never. You approach the sleeping prince and bend down to kiss him ever so gently on the lips. They were softer than you'd imagine and this whole experience is way better than you anticipated.

You wait for the moment when he opens his eyes, but it never comes. You gently pap him on the cheek, but that doesn't work either. Your hopes plummet and you're starting to panic. Maybe some air will help, you think to yourself. So you walk toward the balcony that was connected to the sleeping prince's room. The minute you reach fresh air, you let go of the breath you didn't know you were holding and gave yourself time to calm down. "This can't be," you think. You were sure that he'd wake with your kiss. You're Dirk Strider after all. Plus Bro was counting on you to bring back the sleeping princess er-prince.

And then you hear someone cough behind you.

You froze. Obviously there's no one else in this castle besides you and...the prince. You slowly turn around, carefully taking you sword out of the sheath at your side.

The first thing you notice is that the prince is still laying on his bed. But then you see it, he's moving, more like twitching, but definitely moving. You put away your sword and walk carefully toward the prince.

"H-Hello?" Goddamn, since when did you stutter? You're a Strider, and Strider's are supposed to remain cool in all situations.

The sleeping prince seems to have noticed that he's not alone. He slowly opens his eyes and God are they the most beautiful green eyes you've ever seen. You can almost feel yourself drowning in them and-you realize this isn't the time to wax poetic about a dude's eyes.

"Uh...hi," you try again. He seems disoriented; you would too if you'd slept for a hundred years. He sits up carefully, muscles stiff from disuse. He stretches his arms out and yawns and you can't help but think how cute he is.

He opens his mouth to say something, but the only thing that comes out is the raspiest noise you've ever heard before succumbing into a coughing fit. You realize he might need some water to recover. Luckily, you carried around a canteen. You took it out of your stachel and uncapped it. You then approached him and tapped his shoulder and he looked up with watery eyes. You hand him the canteen and he hesitantly took it.

"Drink from it, it's water," you offer. You don't have to tell him twice as he guzzles practically the entire thing in seconds. That was an extreme thirst you thought.

"Thank you" he says in almost a whisper. If it wasn't because the room was so quiet you might've not heard him.

"Might I ask who are you though?" He asks, caution in his voice. "I don't mean to be rude, but why are you in my room?" He looks around, "This is my room, right?"

You realize you have a lot of explaining to do. How will you tell the prince that he's been sleeping for a hundred years and that his kingdom is no more?

"There's something I need to tell you...uh" you trailed off. The boy seemed to understand what you needed.

"Jake. Call me Jake."

"My name's Dirk. I'm the prince of the kingdom next to yours, Derse."

"Dirk? I never heard of a prince by that name from Derse." he said in confusion. "Are you sure you're not pulling my leg there, chap?" And god damn even his speech patterns are adorable.

"No, of course not. That's what I...wanted to talk to you about, actually." you grab a stool close to his bed and take a seat. "This is going to take some time, so brace yourself." you warn him.

"Gosh, this must be quite a doozy of a story then." he says with a finger on his lip. "Good thing I like stories then. Now carry, lay it on me."

So you do. You tell him the legend of the sleeping princess and how her kingdom had been dead for years now and there were no survivors from the royal bloodline.. You tell him that you had heard of the legend and how true love's kiss was to wake the supposed princess up. You tell him that you were surprised that the princess turned out to be a prince and how you had kissed him awake. Jake was very attentive throughout your story, adding in where he could and looking solemn at the parts and turning completely red when you'd told him about kissing him awake.

"So you're saying, that all my family is...dead?"

"Yes, that's the theory. I'm sorry, Jake," and you were, you were incredibly sorry for him. You had a strange yearning to make sure he was happy; to help him find his family and help him get used to your time period.

"It's all my fault, if I hadn't eaten those dad blasted peanuts we would've been okay, I would be with my family and-"

"Jake it's not your fault, I can promise you that. You were cursed, there wasn't much you could do," you interject before he could continue slandering his character any further.

"But they're gone. I never even got to say goodbye," tears streaming down his face.

"Jake," You don't know what to say to make him feel better, until-

"Come with me."

"Come live with me in my kingdom. I could send people to search for any traces of your family's descendants there. I swear I'll help you, please just don't cry" you dared cup his cheeks as you wiped the tears from his eyes. "It hurts to see you so heartbroken" you confess.

Jake looks at you directly into your eyes. There's something there that you can't really explain, nor can you at the moment because Jake has decided to close the distance between both of you, kissing you softly like if you would leave if he went any further.

It took you a slight moment to gather your senses and return the kiss. By then Jake had his hands around your neck and yours wrapped around his waist. It was a simple kiss, nothing heavy nor urgent, just enough to make it worthwhile.

Jake finally broke the kiss and rested his forehead on yours. "Thank you," he whispered on your lips, eyes closed as if he was savoring the moment. "Thank you for your help. I don't even know you and I already feel like I love you" he stated.

"I am your true love after all, I did wake you up," you add with a peck to his lips and a smile on your lips.

"I suppose that's true," he chuckles. "Shall we go then? I don't want to stay here anymore, it brings up bad memories."

So you leave. You leave his ruined kingdom behind and take him to yours where you hope he will heal and prosper. When you reach your castle, you request a meeting with your family to explain the situation, which they all take fairly well. You all agree to help Jake find any traces of his own family anywhere in the kingdom. You assign people for the Job and wait for news.

Meanwhile, Jake gets accustomed to his new life in the castle and the current time period. He finds it all fascinating, especially all the new theater productions and books that have been made since he fell into a deep sleep. He loves adventure and it's hard to keep up with him as he continues to explore and learn more about your time period. But at night, he cuddles next to you and just holding him makes your heart pound a mile a minute.

Months later, the private investigators you had hired bring back news.

Apparently they had managed to find information that stated one family member did manage to escape before she settled down in the kingdom of Derse. She created a family in the south side of the kingdom, but unfortunately she passed away years ago. However, her great grandchildren still lived in the general area and they had found their address.

Jake was absolutely ecstatic. "Oh Dirk, please let's go meet them. I beg you, please let me see them."

Obviously you won't say no, so you arrange to meet his family.

It turns out that they owned a bakery in the middle of town. You both enter the vicinity and look around. Everything smelled heavenly and the decor was simple but sophisticated.

"Welcome to Crocker Bakery, may I help you?" you both swiftly turn around and see a plump young women coming from a door behind the counter.

"Ah y-yes," Jake stutters. "We were here to see a Miss by the name of Jane Crocker, that wouldn't be you by chance, would it?"

"That's me alright! Now what can I do for you, gentlemen?"

"Miss Jane, we came to tell you a story, may you please sit down with us to listen?" Jake lets out. You can sense his nervousness, and you hold his hand to let him know you're right there next to him.

Jane looked confused at first but she agrees nonetheless. And just like previous times before, you told her the story of the princess who was actually a prince. You tell her that she's a descendent of the royal Prospit bloodline. Her great-grandmother was a cousin of Jake's so that makes them related. They also told her that all her brother, John, and cousin Jade were also related to Jake. They were a family. Jane looked skeptical after the end of their story, but she didn't downright reject them. She told them to come back the next day when Jade and John were present to further talk about the matter.

The next day, Jake met John and Jade. He hugged and kissed both of them as tears spilled from his eyes, telling them how he was so happy they were alive and how alone he felt until he found out they existed. They both took him in with open arms. You stayed in the background as Jake caught up with his family, not wanted to ruin the moment. You didn't mind, after all Jake was happy and that's all that mattered to you, his happiness.

At the end of the day, Jake told his family his goodbyes and left promises of coming back very soon, which you're sure he'll keep.

"Ready to go?"

"Yes, absolutely!" he says enthusiastically. "I wish I could stay longer, but it's getting late and I want to spend some time with you too," he says with a peck to your lips.

Before he gets a chance to separate from you, you bring him in for a more deeper kiss. He hesitates at first, but then he's almost climbing you in an effort to get closer to you as your tongue continues to invade his mouth.

Unfortunately air is needed to survive and you're forced to pull away. Jake looks dazed and has the dopiest smile on his face.

"What was that for, love?" he asks, clearly still full of adrenaline from your passionate make-out session.

"Nothing, I just love you" you say, not one to be subtle.

Jake then flashes you with the most brilliant smile on his face. It's breathtaking, really. "I love you too, Dirk. " He says sweetly. " Thank you for all you've done for me, Love. I wouldn't be here without you, quite literally!"

You smile, cupping his chin in your hand. "Anything for you, Jake." you say while caressing his cheek. "Now let's go home."

So you do.


End file.
